Category: I am not Perfect

Please Stop Telling Me My Son’s Autism is a Gift…Until You Walk in My Shoes..

It’s been awhile..My freelancing writing and blogging has taking off which is great, but has keeping me from what I’ve wanted to do, write about my love, my boy, Andrew, and spreading Autism Awareness. Every time I sit down to write, I often already have a positive message to end on in mind. I don’t have that today.  Today I…

If You are a Terrible Parent, Then I am the “Mephistopheles”

I am in a season of my life right now where I feel bone tired almost all the time. Ragged, how-am-I-going-to-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-day, eyes burning exhausted. I have toddlers, Andrew 4, and Arywn 2.  I’m not complaining about that. Well, maybe I am a little bit. But I know that there are people who would give anything for a house full of…

Dear What Could…

Dear what could have been friend, And I say could have, but it’s not you, it’s me. Typical, right? But hear me out. I am generally a good person. And I don’t mean that in a boasting/bragging kinda way, just a that’s kinda how you should be way. Treat people the way you want to be treated, and all that.…

I See You Starring, Do Not Judge Me Until You Can Look In the Mirror and Say That You Are Perfect.

I see you, sitting there subtly staring. Your look of disapproval is not invisible to me. I see you, sitting at the next table with your children, puzzled at my decision, at my parenting practices. I see you, looking at me from the corner of your eye. Your body language silently disapproving of my decisions regarding my son. I see…

Reminding Myself: Looking Back At Our Autism Diagnosis. These Are the Things.

Stop blaming It doesn’t matter how or what caused Andrew’s autism. I have more important things to focus on than the blame game. Above all else, I dare not for one more second, blame myself.  It’s nothing I did, did not do, should’ve, would’ve or could’ve done. I am are not the cause. All this mentality will do is drain me and pull me down to…

The Blame Game, How to Deal with the Self-Guilt of Parenting

I think, one of the main reasons I felt guilt and personal responsibility for causing Andrew’s autism or at least contributing to it; there are so many unknown reasons as to what causes autism that I looked for something concrete. Even if that meant blaming myself. If I could at least put some sort of name, some sort of anything to…