Category: I am not Perfect

If You are a Terrible Parent, Then I am the “Mephistopheles”

I am in a season of my life right now where I feel bone tired almost all the time. Ragged, how-am-I-going-to-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-day, eyes burning exhausted. I have toddlers, Andrew 4, and Arywn 2.  I’m not complaining about that. Well, maybe I am a little bit. But I know that there are people who would give anything for a house full of…

Dear What Could…

Dear what could have been friend, And I say could have, but it’s not you, it’s me. Typical, right? But hear me out. I am generally a good person. And I don’t mean that in a boasting/bragging kinda way, just a that’s kinda how you should be way. Treat people the way you want to be treated, and all that.…

I See You Starring, Do Not Judge Me Until You Can Look In the Mirror and Say That You Are Perfect.

I see you, sitting there subtly staring. Your look of disapproval is not invisible to me. I see you, sitting at the next table with your children, puzzled at my decision, at my parenting practices. I see you, looking at me from the corner of your eye. Your body language silently disapproving of my decisions regarding my son. I see…

Reminding Myself: Looking Back At Our Autism Diagnosis. These Are the Things.

Stop blaming It doesn’t matter how or what caused Andrew’s autism. I have more important things to focus on than the blame game. Above all else, I dare not for one more second, blame myself.  It’s nothing I did, did not do, should’ve, would’ve or could’ve done. I am are not the cause. All this mentality will do is drain me and pull me down to…

The Blame Game, How to Deal with the Self-Guilt of Parenting

I think, one of the main reasons I felt guilt and personal responsibility for causing Andrew’s autism or at least contributing to it; there are so many unknown reasons as to what causes autism that I looked for something concrete. Even if that meant blaming myself. If I could at least put some sort of name, some sort of anything to…