Category: Mother of a child on the spectrum

If You are a Terrible Parent, Then I am the “Mephistopheles”

I am in a season of my life right now where I feel bone tired almost all the time. Ragged, how-am-I-going-to-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-day, eyes burning exhausted. I have toddlers, Andrew 4, and Arywn 2.  I’m not complaining about that. Well, maybe I am a little bit. But I know that there are people who would give anything for a house full of…

Dear What Could…

Dear what could have been friend, And I say could have, but it’s not you, it’s me. Typical, right? But hear me out. I am generally a good person. And I don’t mean that in a boasting/bragging kinda way, just a that’s kinda how you should be way. Treat people the way you want to be treated, and all that.…

I See You Starring, Do Not Judge Me Until You Can Look In the Mirror and Say That You Are Perfect.

I see you, sitting there subtly staring. Your look of disapproval is not invisible to me. I see you, sitting at the next table with your children, puzzled at my decision, at my parenting practices. I see you, looking at me from the corner of your eye. Your body language silently disapproving of my decisions regarding my son. I see…

Yes, Finally Back to School Time. Yikes Here Come’s the Re-adjusting…Yet Again. Ouch.

We’re nearing that wonderful time of the year again when our kids return to school. As the parent of an autism spectrum child, I’m not sure which is more challenging—attempting to create structure for a child during the summer months or trying to get the child back into a new routine at the start of a school year. Either way, one thing…

Reminding Myself: Looking Back At Our Autism Diagnosis. These Are the Things.

Stop blaming It doesn’t matter how or what caused Andrew’s autism. I have more important things to focus on than the blame game. Above all else, I dare not for one more second, blame myself.  It’s nothing I did, did not do, should’ve, would’ve or could’ve done. I am are not the cause. All this mentality will do is drain me and pull me down to…

Autism Obsessions, Routines, & Rituals?

Autism comes with a lot of adjusting and learning on the parents’ side. Individuals with autism require different levels of care and ways of conducting life than their neurotypical peers. A huge reason for this has to do with autism obsessions, rituals and routines. Andrew has so many routines and obsessions that I do not even know where to start to…

Help Reduce Anxiety in Children with Autism

Last night for the first time, I believe Andrew had his first panic attack. He couldn’t catch his breathe, his heart was racing, he was sweaty, and just all over the place.  He wanted me, then didn’t want me then he wanted Andy then didn’t want Andy.  Nothing we did could comfort him.  When I tried to ignore him and…

It’s Hard to Refer to Your Child as Autistic if You Still Are Not Sure What It All Means.

You know the phrase – If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism. Well it’s true. Since my son, Andrew, was diagnosed with autism I’ve done a great deal of research about the autism spectrum. I’ve talked with countless doctors, therapists, autistic adults, and autism parents. Each professional I talk to and each article I read sends…

Special Needs Parenting: When Your Husband Doesn’t Get It

Time Matters I spend almost every minute of my waking life caring for my kids. Sometimes, it goes well. Sometimes it doesn’t. But I have had loads of time, and so much trial and error, to study my son’s behaviors, to learn his triggers, to craft his routine, and to meet with all of his doctors and therapists to figure…

The Blame Game, How to Deal with the Self-Guilt of Parenting

I think, one of the main reasons I felt guilt and personal responsibility for causing Andrew’s autism or at least contributing to it; there are so many unknown reasons as to what causes autism that I looked for something concrete. Even if that meant blaming myself. If I could at least put some sort of name, some sort of anything to…